Bullshit

Well, maybe I've been preoccupied chewing the cud, but I never saw this coming. In science's latest attempt to promote stem-cell experimentation - while negotiating the moral pitfalls of embryonic research - they've decided to create something that is part cow, part human. Yeah, I'm sure this will quell the public outcry against scientists run amok. Awesome job, dudes. While you're at it, could you cure the common cold? I'm thinking something nuclear might do the trick...

Weren't they getting fairly close to replicating this technique with skin cells? Hmmm. On the one hand, we could cure Parkinson's with dandruff. On the other hand, we could make advances in spinal injury repair with a herd of Moo-Men. I'm sorry: Bovine-Americans.

Ok, so the proportion is fairly insignificant. The embryos are only 0.01% "cow." Hell, if India doesn't mind covering that spread, why should we? But, then, isn't that ratio leaving open what Futurama-via-a-Twilight-Zone-reference called "The Scary Door"? Do we want to lend even a fraction of credibility to unfortunate modern phrases like "hot beef injection"?

Picture if you will a scene in a bar. Just an ordinary, run-of-the-mill American watering hole:

Man-Cow: Hey, darlin', got any cow in ya?
Woman: What? No.
Man-Cow: Want some?
Wing-Man of Man-Cow: High five!

Oh, the genetically-modified humanity! Did you see how he just...he just...extended his hand and slapped that other hand above his head? How could we live with ourselves if this future is now upon us? How now, indeed, brown cow?

Right. Well, I think I've made all the plays on words that I'm willing or able to muster. If you'd like to read something genuinely worthwhile on the topic of cattle, I highly recommend El Ranchero's excellent posts on sustainable consumption. I think I'll be pedaling this July to a farmers' market near me to try out some of his advice. And if I can't get any of the grass-fed beef, I've heard tell of a couple of bison farms in the Mohawk-Hudson Valley. It's gonna be Turnerific!