Correct me if I'm wrong, but we haven't caught the real Bin Laden yet, right? Right. Then, by all means, will someone in Congress please hold hearings to analyze the threat of virtual terrorism? Oh, we're already doing that? Super. That's only a slightly less wasteful use of tax dollars than the MLB steroid investigation. I can't wait for personal tax earmarking. Of course, our country could never handle anything that democratic (or mind-numbingly tedious). But imagine how jazzy the appropriation proceedings on C-SPAN would be if everyone had to pitch their budget to a wider American audience? There would be pie charts that could make you cry and PowerPoint slideshows to bring down the House. Spokesmodels, product placement, BeDazzling, and probably that "Tom" guy from all the Fuccillo ads. It's gonna be HUUU-GE...ly depressing. On second thought, I've got somewhere to be in Second Life; we should probably call the whole thing off. In the mean time, I think I'm sending my hypothetical kids to the apocryphal bible camp in Legoland.
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