Kids Say the Darndest Things (2008 Edition)

Bill Cosby never filmed an episode like this.

The setting: my AP U.S. History class.

The set-up: two female students, presenting on "modern social issues," chose the topic of "abstinence-only sex education."

The gist: the girls used a PowerPoint demonstration & a video to argue that abstinence-only education results in woefully ignorant adolescents and undesirable effects (like higher rates of teen pregnancy). The PowerPoint detailed some of the statistics they used to back up their claims, as well as pictures of high-profile cases like that of Jamie-Lynn Spears. The video featured two nearly-identical vignettes contrasting how teenagers might deal with a specific situation if they'd had (a) abstinence-only sex ed or (b) comprehensive sex ed.

The "specific situation": their reaction to a pop-up advertising banner for a pornography site, which the girls "tastefully" sanitized by displaying a screen that simply said "Va-Jay-Jay Porn."

I am not kidding.

The following things were done & said:

One male student admired - under his breath, but still audible - the short skirt donned by Ms. Spears.

"You know, it's that kind of thinking that contributes to teen pregnancy in the first place."

The video, which had been filmed on a recycled tape, began accidentally with a clip from a local church's staging of the Nativity.

"Ah, yes, Mary - the original pregnant teen."

The second vignette of the video - looking unappreciably different from the first - confused the class, thinking they were seeing the same skit again.

"I think I'm having Déjà-Va-Jay-Jay."

Did I mention that I teach at a Catholic school?

I love my job.