Wednesday, February 27, 2008

This Blog Will Also Kill Killer Robots, If Necessary




At the risk of pulling the hat trick of morbidity with today's posts, I thought people might like to see this. It would probably disturb me if I hadn't exposed myself to so much bad sci-fi over the years. Plus, if mass extinction happens, well, then it happens. And I'm not resigned to grisly, catastrophic death for fatalistic reasons. It would just be cooler than, I don't know, going out battling bed sores and dementia. In the meantime, I'm not going to worry about our mechanical underlings going rogue. Real though the threat may be, I will continue to laugh off that and all of the following possible

THREATS

FROM

THE

FUTURE!!!

  • Meteors
  • Meteorites
  • Asteroids
  • Asteroid-Dwelling Space Worms
  • UFOs
  • Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence of Either the Belligerent Reptilian or Condescending Humanoid Varieties
  • Solar Flares
  • Gamma Radiation
  • Black Holes
  • Worm Holes
  • Black-Hole-Dwelling Worms
  • Worm-Hole-Dwelling Blacks
  • Magnetic Field Shift
  • Event Horizon...actually, no, that movie legitimately scares the shit out of me
  • Polar Ice Melt
  • Drowned Polar Bear Zombies-of-the-Sea
  • Supervolcanoes
  • Supertsunamis
  • Supersizing
  • The Complete Obsolescence and Subsequent Contraction of the Prefix "Super-" to the More Manageable "S'-"
  • Locusts
  • Killer Bees
  • Army Ants
  • Coast Guard Ants
  • Cicadas that Return Every Sixteen Years, Instead of the Usual Seventeen
  • Avian Bird Flu
  • West Nile Virus
  • S'plague
  • Mutant, Flesh-Eating Sniffles
  • The Antichrist
  • Antichrist Superstar: the Musical
  • Nanorobots
  • Nannyrobots with Fran Drescher voice chips
  • Artificial Intelligence of Either the Evil Supercomputer or Condescending Cyborg Varieties
  • Nuclear Winter
  • Another Spice Girls Reunion (possibly underwritten by Old Spice?)
  • Marty McFly's Hypersensitivity to Questions Re: His Courage and the Potential Lack Thereof
If you made it all the way to the end of this post, you deserve a reward. Or at least some insurance. Go ahead, click on the video. It's worth watching the ad.

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