The Dog Days

To my eye, nearly everything during this election has been accelerated. The tremendous energy and hot air expended during the primaries has left something of a vacuum. People are worn out. There'll be a second wind, a late season push, but we are now in "the Dog Days," and that's a little ahead of schedule.

I'm very familiar with the Dog Days. Not because I live in upstate New York where, like my brethren at similar latitudes, we experience the meteorological schizophrenia of a climate that can go from ten below to a hundred degrees and humid within five months. No, I'm familiar with the Dog Days because I'm a Mets fan. And, unfortunately, one of the main announcers on SNY - the Mets channel - is Keith "I Was on 'Seinfeld'" Hernandez. Keith is an egomaniac and, worse yet, Keith is repetitive. So if you ever want to hear a not-ready-for-the-Hall-of-Fame player get all misty-eyed talking about how much better he is than today's major leaguers, tune in to Channel 66.

In his defense, Hernandez also likes to repeat certain phrases. Carlos Beltran, the Mets' centerfielder, can't move his legs without Keith saying "Oh, just look at that. Such beautiful strides." Thankfully, his producers have toned down his macho act. This is the guy who chided a member of the San Diego Padres' staff for being in the dugout. Because she was a woman:

The former MVP first baseman said women "don't belong in the dugout" when he spotted 33-year-old Kelly Calabrese, the Padres' full-time massage therapist, high-fiving Mike Piazza in the dugout after he hit a home run during New York's 8-1 victory Saturday in San Diego.

After Hernandez found out later in the broadcast that Calabrese was with the Padres training staff, he repeated that she shouldn't have been there. "I won't say that women belong in the kitchen, but they don't belong in the dugout," he said.

Hernandez, a former Mets star, then laughed and said: "You know I am only teasing. I love you gals out there -- always have."

Maybe that turn on Seinfeld wasn't so far-fetched. Can you be typecast if your only two credits are one episode of a sitcom and mustache-dye commercials?

But one of Keith's favorite hobby horses is talking about the Dog Days. Every lackluster play from late July through August will be attributed to the oppressive heat of summer.

Dog Days, Dog Days, Dog Days.

This is why I turn the volume down when I watch.

Right now Americans are a little bit overwhelmed by the unwieldy coverage of the election. We are in the political Dog Days, where the average person has reached her capacity to follow and - frankly - to care about the candidates.

There will still be overblown news stories, like Wesley Clark's prompted gaffe, which El Ranchero dispatches handily here. And there will most definitely still be overblown non-news stories like this:

WASHINGTON (AP) — People would rather barbecue burgers with Barack than munch meats with McCain.

While many are still deciding which should be president, by 52 percent to 45 percent they would prefer having Barack Obama than John McCain to their summer cookout, according to an Associated Press-Yahoo! News poll released Wednesday.

Well, I'm glad that's settled. Though I heard having a beer with Bush isn't nearly as cool as all those fellas thought back in 2004.