This Blog Kills Fascists: The Last Crusade

ONE-HUNDRED POSTS!

*Spoiler Alert* In keeping with the blog's modus operandus, this post will be fairly absurd. And why not? The content ratio between "silly" and "serious" has been holding steady at about 5:1. Why bother getting all imperious now?

Like George W. Bush, I've been thinking about my historical legacy. And like George W. Bush, my ideas are pretty fantastic: large, fluffy fictions wrapped around kernels of fact. Which, in terms of proportionality and the origins of these thought experiments, makes perfect sense. I have exactly one semester of archaeology classes under my belt (kernel) and many hours of watching post-apocalyptic sci-fi movies (large, fluffy fictions). The result is that my ideas are more Brazil than Brian Fagan, more Thunderdome than Thrace, but that's a proportion I'm willing to live with.

Now, I'm not particularly concerned with the perceptions held by the next generation or even the next century. My focus is more millennial - think Futurama - in that I'm curious as to how I - how we - will be viewed by people a thousand years from now.

There's a fair amount of reasonable conjecture out there that says we might not make it another thousand years. Whatever. Something's going to survive. It might be a genetically-modified super race spawned by Angelina Jolie, but it'll be here. And when those pouty mutants pore over our leavings, what will they say?

First they'll say "These people were a little too into sharing." Or, as Michael Scott would so topically put it, "TMI."

By all reliable estimates people in 2008 are practically exploding with information. According to those who study such things, we are literally producing more data than we could ever process or use. Shoot, I can't even keep up with Oprah's Book Club. I'm only up to James Frey's A Million Little Pieces. Oh, he's just so brave. It's almost hard to believe what he went through. Don't tell me how it ends.

But after the future archaeologists get past their embarrassment of riches, they'll recreate our society in its entirety. And if the movies I've watched on the subject are even remotely accurate, the picture they develop will be drastically and hilariously distorted.

Here's hoping they come across this, my One Hundredth Post. And this, my celebration of the blog's One-Month Anniversary. God willing, a controversy will erupt over my intentions. Which milestone came first? What caused The Exorcist greater joy? Who the hell is Oprah?

And then opposing theological schools will spring up among the various acolytes of the religion inevitably inspired by this blog. A great schism! The Lunatics (who prefer to honor the blog's progress in months) and The Centurions (who maintain that the only proper measure for the blog operates on a base of "100") will rend the very sky with their jihads! The rivers will run red with the blood of infidels!

But I can't have any of that, no matter how cool it would look in CGI. So let me settle the debate once and for all:

The hundredth post is more important than the month-marker. But both of them are deeply, deeply insignificant. So put your Laser Uzis away, hop on your makeshift land-speeder/jet-ski, and ride your leather-wearing selves off into the sunset.