The Shark Tank Redemption?

Check out the name of the resort being terrorized. Probably not what Andy Dufresne had in mind when he moved there.

Also, the movie parody upon which this post title is based is pretty funny. Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here.

Superduperdelegates

I've already made the point that my support for Obama was foreordained, but it's worth noting that both George Lucas and Pulitzer Prize-winning artist Bob Dylan are betting on Barack.

Half-wracked prejudice leaped forth
"Rip down all hate," I screamed
Lies that life is black and white
Spoke from my skull. I dreamed
Romantic facts of musketeers
Foundationed deep, somehow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.

- "My Back Pages," Bob Dylan

Blogsolescence

Oh, Rivers Cuomo, you win again. Catch up on five years of YouTube in a little over three minutes:

Democracy...or Else!

W in Iraq:

"Kick ass! If somebody tries to stop the march to democracy, we will seek them out and kill them! We must be tougher than hell! This Vietnam stuff, this is not even close. It is a mind-set. We can't send that message. It's an excuse to prepare us for withdrawal... There is a series of moments and this is one of them. Our will is being tested, but we are resolute. We have a better way. Stay strong! Stay the course! Kill them! Be confident! Prevail! We are going to wipe them out! We are not blinking!"

By me linking to Andrew Sullivan, who's quoting Ricardo Sanchez's quoting of Pres. Bush, I'm pretty sure that's triple hearsay, but - if true - it's kind of shocking. Never would have pegged George as a headbanger. He seems like more of a Neil Diamond-lover.

Note to reader: I know the name of my blog is aggressive, but I'm not much for bellicosity. I'm more of a "When in the course of human events..."-kind of fighter. And even then I'd probably be dipping my quill rather than priming my rifle.

Sing It, Ray

A simple but effective tool for dispelling noxious rumors:

No Dice

I FINALLY heard from Fulbright today. They made the decision to arrange an exchange to Ghana with another American teacher. Obviously, I'm bummed out, but I would like to say thanks to everyone for your well-wishing. My scheming to travel and work at the same time continues...

Savage Lives Up To His (Fake) Name

Right-wing radio host Michael Weiner takes a page out of John Gibson's book and tries a little black comedy on for size:

No gloating today, no laughter, all serious. You don't joke about a man's cancer. I do it, but I won't do it today; it's something I will not do.

You know I'm playing the Dead Kennedys not to mock Ted Kennedy. It's just appropriate, that's all.

Though calling that "comedy" is a bit merciful on my part.

I'm confused. Aren't Democrats "The Party of Death"?

The Perfect Storm

Most of the time I believe in free will. Occasionally, however, I wonder if my support for Barack Obama's candidacy wasn't predetermined.

Consider the following:

The Decemberists at the Obama rally in Portland:



"July, July" on my blog here.

Decemberists' guitarist Chris Funk appears on The Colbert Report to take on Stephen in the "Countdown to Guitarmaggedon" here and here.

Obama's appearance via satellite on The Colbert Report at the taping I attended here.

I know this is no cosmic coincidence; I'm hardly the only person in the U.S. to harbor such preferences. But it doesn't feel like a choice either. Barack is just piling it on now.

To paraphrase Rob Gordon from High Fidelity, "Do I like Obama because I listen to indie rock...or do I listen to indie rock because I like Obama?"

Holy Galloping Teeth, Batman!

A little long, but cool just the same:


MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

Did you spot the Q-Bert reference?

Dust Off Your Dance Shoes

Papa Bear pumps up the jam:



And Colbert sympathizes here.

Paging Dr. Rove

I was wrong. The Republicans will be talking about gay marriage ahead of schedule.

Least Important Post Ever?

And still you read it. I've blogged on some pretty insignificant stuff in the past, but I just want to say that John McCain's wife creeps me out. Of course, the only spouse of a candidate with relevance for this election - in my opinion - is William Jefferson Clinton; the Constitution has no guidelines for the role a former president would play in his wife's administration. But there is something sinister about Cindy McCain. Imagine a sequel to Village of the Damned in which the cursed hamlet is menaced by the grown-up children:

I'm going to stop writing about this before she invades my mind and convinces me not to care about her tax returns.

You Could Set Your Clock To It

Time was we'd be approaching midsummer before the Right started marching out tired old hobby horses like this. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I just think it would have been nice to have the Democratic nominee decided before we indulge the Republicans in their hollow, election-cycle fear-mongering. But I suppose everything in this campaign season has been accelerated. I guess that means we'll be hearing about gay marriage in a couple of weeks. That'll make for some stunning contortions of logic. I can't wait until someone goes on Hannity & Colmes trying to sell the idea that Obama is both a secret Muslim extremist AND a Sodomite hellbent on destroying the sanctity of marriage. How do Islamists view homosexuality again? Oh, right. Well, no matter what, I'm with Hamas.

The Misogyny and the Prodigy

My good friend and one-time roommate Matt - knowing my love for both vintage ads and YouTube - sent me this tonight:


And it got me thinking about Hillary Clinton.

As aggravating as the last few months of the campaign have been, the end is in sight. I have been impressed with the degree to which Obama has kept his cool and resisted the temptation to resort to identity politics. Though - I should add - I've followed his trajectory for nigh on four years now and have seen no viable evidence that he's ever been all that tempted in that regard. Maybe that detracts from his political courage, but it certainly speaks on behalf of his political maturity.

I can't say the same for Senator Clinton. She has done more pandering, faked more accents, donned more disguises than her opponent. More unfortunate than talking about the gas tax holiday from the back of a vintage pickup truck (the good ol' days? subtle!) were the few times when she lapsed into paleo-feminist victimhood. Sexism is very much alive and well in the United States. And electing a woman president would go a long way toward assuaging that historical inequality. Just the sight of it. Americans are visual learners. They need to see a powerful woman before they will believe it's possible. And the same is true with African Americans. It's a puzzling bit of circular illogic you hear from West Virginians and others. "I won't vote for Obama because the country's not ready for a black president." And how will we know when we're ready? When we vote for one, of course.

But it's still a tricky business. Not voting for candidates because they're female or black is ignorant while voting for candidates because they're female or black is merely shallow and anti-meritocratic. What's a voter to do? Hopefully vote on the basis of other issues. It appears that many people have done just that during this primary season. Hillary deserves a lot of credit for being a trailblazer. It has not been easy for her to find (and keep) her voice. In the end, from where I sit, Obama beat her fair and square. Yes, there's Florida and Michigan, but can any Clinton supporter say - with even a modicum of intellectual honesty - that they'd be as adamant about the "disenfranchisement" of those renegade delegations had Obama carried their majorities? He's outmaneuvered, outraised, and outsmarted the most powerful and most popular Democratic family since the Kennedys.

I am anxious to see how Clinton will make her dénouement. My prediction is that she will end her campaign as she ran it: making excuses. Maybe I'm being pessimistic. Or maybe I'm just blowing smoke.

Lorne Again

It's been a long time since I cared about SNL, which is a little sad since it was the center of my comedic universe when I was twelve or so. Just ask my family, beleaguered as they were by me impersonating Dana Carvey impersonating George H.W. Bush. I can't really envision a scenario in which the show becomes relevant to me again, but I do think Kristen Wiig (of Virgania Horsen's Hot Air Balloon Rides fame) is a rare talent:



She's the next Gilda Radner. Just kidding. There's no one like Gilda Radner. Just kidding. I wasn't even alive when Gilda Radner was acting. Just kidding. I was, but I was a baby. Just kidding. I was a man baby. Just kidding. Just kidding.

Neologism for the Weekend

I congratulated myself a few weeks ago when I coined the word "pregret" in my head until I found out that it already existed. Maybe my latest creation is already out there, too...but, dammit, here goes nothing:

"Hillarious"

Hil·lar·i·ous

Pronunciation:
\hi-ˈler-ē-əs\

Function: adjective

Etymology:
irregular from Latin hilarus, hilaris cheerful, from Greek hilaros, from Hillary Rodham Clinton

Date: 2008

: foolishly impractical especially in the blind pursuit of unattainable [personal] goals (contrast with "quixotic," which is characterized by the foolish pursuit of ideals)

— Hil·lar·i·ous·ly adverb

— Hil·lar·i·ous·ness noun

You Can't Write This. Or Maybe You Just Can't Write.

From the same people who forgot about the 1936 Berlin Games:

Yes, let's. I nominate my mom to be Chancellor of the Spellchequer.

Head in the Sand

Economics has never been my strong suit, but let's just pretend for a moment that I'm a moron. I'll give you some time. Don't need any? Ouch. Ok, here's what I want you to do. Explain this quote from Hillary Clinton in a way that it'll make sense to me:

"I believe it would be important to get every member of Congress on record....Do they stand with the hard-pressed Americans who are trying to pay their gas bills at the gas station or do they once again stand with the oil companies? That's a vote I'm going to try to get, because I want to know where people stand, and I want them to tell us - are they with us or against us when it comes to taking on the oil companies?"

Taxes are small fees placed on purchased goods and services that provide the government with its revenue, right? How exactly would lifting them - temporarily - impact oil companies? You know, besides increasing demand and giving them the perfect opportunity to raise prices? How did anyone allow the self-applied label "policy wonk" to stick to this senator? If she believes this tripe (and I don't think she does), then she's less competent to be president than I thought. Listen, when you're stuck in the desert, you don't spend all your effort coaxing the last few drops out of the canteen. You get out of the desert.

Seven Minutes in Heaven...

...if your "heaven" looks like a political news montage. This video cuts through the last five months, give or take. On the one hand, it would seem to work only if you've been paying attention. My guess is that a coma patient waking up today could watch it two or three times and feel completely caught up.

NuClio Away!

Correcting Fox News would be a full-time job (that unfortunately very few of their editors are interested in doing), but it's nice to see that my superhero gambit wasn't completely silly: